no show N all tell… (no pictures this post, sorry…)…
What, no pictures??? Yeah, sorry… I’ve been slack with the blogging and pictures as of late. I usually have mostly pictures and few words, but there is so much on my mind, and I haven’t edited pictures for this post, so its an “all read” post. First of all, I haven’t blogged much lately due to homework and the overwelmingness of life. I have been crocheting a great deal, though. I have several projects going at once, but have not finished any lately. I’m crocheting several baby items, a market bag, my leper bandage (nearly done), and two afghans. The afghans have actually been slow going lately. It gets warm sitting under a half-crocheted afghan in the spring/summertime, so I’ve opted for crocheting smaller items. I did finally invest in a Harmony Guide, and I am in LOVE! 
School has been hectic. I only have a couple of more weeks in my current classes. One of them is Adolescent Psychology. I have learned so much, so far. My daughters are not adolescents yet, but I think it is never too soon to start applying some of these things to one’s life. Of course, as with most of psychology, none of this is absolutely 100% fault proof. These are only theories and ideas, but a great deal of it makes sense… Why should only psychology student’s get this stuff, though? The whole world of parents need this…
Here is Leman’s 20 rules to parenting an adolescent (Keep in mind that these laws are not set in stone, you are allowed to disagree, but I wanted to share):
Leman believes that parents often confuse discipline with punishment, and believes parents need to know the difference. Discipline is to teach a child by setting limits, giving guidelines, making rules and enforcing the rules. Punishment, on the other hand is what you do to enforce the rules. Leman came up with 20 rules that he believes parents should go by:
1. If you threaten your child with something you should follow through with it…
2. Make sure you keep idealistic expectations on your child….
3. Be accepting…
4. Take time to listen to your child
5. Respect your child’s choices
6. Apologize and ask your child to forgive you when you were in the wrong
7. Respect their privacy
9. Do the unexpected (the main point is to hold them accountable for their choices)
10. Talk about potential problems (long before the problems arise)
11. Don’t act like a teenager (this embarrasses the teen)
12. Give them choices.
13. Don’t snowplow their school road (Leman believes that parents should not help teens with their homework)
14. Don’t show them off or embarrass them
15. Don’t pick at flaws (self-esteem is already at an all-time low during adolescence)
16. Don’t spit in their soup (this means that parents should not add a tagalong line to make the teen feel guilty)
17. Don’t talk in volumes (make only one point at a time)
18. Don’t smother them with praise (Leman’s distinction between praise, which is harmful, and encouragement, which is beneficial)
19. Don’t make icebergs out of icicles (i.e., give them grace, and “cut them some slack”)
20). Handle hassles healthily (in a conflict, give teens the opportunity to explain their side, and then ask them to listen to the parents)
Well, I tried paraphrasing most of that, but some of it there was no better way to say it… All of this can be found in Santrock’s book on Adolescence…
Anyway, it is really overwelming trying to do all of these things all of the time, but I am more aware of how I do things. If anything, it is food for thought. You often hear remarks about wishing the hospital would give an instruction manual when a child is born, and maybe this is not perfect, but it includes some good ideas. I still mess up every day, but if I can at least be aware of things I need to work on, maybe it will make a difference in my children’s lives…
Are there any of these that you disagree/agree with? Any input or thoughts? Since studying these things, it seems like I am constantly contemplating different parenting theories, so I would love to hear if someone has any input…
Blah blah, I realize that has absolutely nothing to do with crochet, but it has really been on my mind… Oh, and speaking of children and crochet… My two older daughters are both crocheting amigurumi teddy bears! I can’t wait until they are finished so I can post pictures!
On another note, I’m combing out my dreads. I really do not know why, or even if I am glad about it, but it is something I am doing. I was surprised at my family’s reactions. They did not all leap for joy like I expected… I am sure I will regret this later, but for now, they are about 1/3 combed out… (Will maybe post pics/3 month timeline later)…
Well, I’m off to crochet before calling it a night…
June 12 2008 | Crochet by Kids and Family and Online Education and crochet and dreads and journaling and school | 6 Comments »
